plans for the future January 6, 2008

so my main focus for this year is to establish routine, MY routine, MY structure.  i have spent enough time and enough years being haphazard.  something i have learned from this past year is that while i still dislike every hour and every moment to be planned i thrive, actually THRIVE, when i have some sort of routine, such as established meal times, regular exercise, regular activities planned.  the hard part is maintaining it.  in the hospital it was done for me.  it was really easy.  but you know, i am going to be 27 this year.  isn’t it high time i set out and create the life i want to live from my head into actual reality?  when i have someone in my life i adapt too much to their routines sacrificing my own needs and desires.  it happens every time.  and really the only way i know how to counteract this is to actually ESTABLISH my own way of life rather than just dream about it.  seems like i have wasted a lot of time, huh?  but there always seems to be something getting in the way-school, lack of money, new boyfriend, whatever.  not this year.  i don’t expect to change overnight but i do need to remain vigilant.  notice what works and what doesn’t.  i want regular mealtimes, regularly cooked meals, regular meditation practice, regular yoga practice.  regular spiritual practice.  is that asking too much?   so this week the plan is to start slow.  i am going to attempt to make two recipes, two SIMPLE recipes.  butternut squash with coconut curry and ginger cauliflower soup.  i already have my morning routine in practice.  i wake up and meditate for 15-20 minutes.  then i do a few rounds of sun salutations.  then i write my morning pages.  then i get ready for work. sometimes i write my morning pages at work since i get there early.  when i get home i would like to engage in yoga (i eat my snack on the commute home).  then shower and be ready for the evening which should include some simple cooking, reading, writing.  i am thinking of giving a theme to each day so i don’t feel like i have to fit everything into one day.  like a french day, a letter writing day, a cooking day.  i don’t want to cook everyday but i want to eat like i used to.  i want to incorporate running into my regular physical routine when the weather turns nicer.  mix it up.  i really want a bike.  l-squared has a bike.  she said if i get a bike we can bike together.  and it would be a good investment for when i move to an urban city.  i want to get into a regular practice of sunday being preparation day.  grocery shopping, planning the meals for the week.  cooking as much as i can so i don’t have to be overwhelmed by it during the week.  prepare lunches for the week.  you know, cutting veggies/fruit and pre-packaging them.  making little lunch rows in the refrigerator so all i have to do is grab and run in the morning.  are these too big of aspirations? i don’t think so.  not if i ease into it and remain gentle with myself whenever i slip up.  so today i shop.  the list is made.  only two recipes to make.  the rest of the week will be leftovers and simple salads and sandwiches.  lunches will be salad, leftovers, fruit, yogurt and granola.  breakfast can be poptarts.  on-the-way-home snack will be apples.  monday i hope to pre-cook tuesday’s meal because my friends are coming over for a special evening and it would be nice to only have to heat up that night’s dinner.  yeah.  so there it is.  i got my first yoga journal of the year and since i have a gift subscription i will be getting it every month.  and there is so much useful information within those pages.  sometimes i tear them out but they end up getting lost and unused.  so in a burst of inspiration i made a notebook with dividers for the anatomy pages, the basic pose pages, the master class pages, the recipes i like, and the spiritual exercises that interest me.  and it’s on my counter with the cookbooks for easy reference.  i already used the foldout poster of a strengthening sequence.  did that this morning.  much more challenging than the usual sun salutations.  my friend, k, has committed to doing the cosmic cafe yoga class with me on available sundays.  i am buoyed by the new year energy, uplifted by so much hope and motivation that fills my being at this moment.  i can only hope that i will be vigilant in creating my life during the course of the year.