i’m not anorexic. really. August 31, 2007

this week eating wise hasn’t been too stellar.  mainly because i haven’t been eating that much.  but hey, i haven’t been gorging on sugar either so that’s a plus.  for breakfast i had cereal with soymilk.  lunch was two pieces of toast with smart balance and strawberry preserves.  dinner was two veggie corn dogs.  i can hear foi now scolding me in the background.  but i went to the grocery store today and have filled up my kitchen again.  oranges, plums, strawberries, honeydew.  aged cheddar rosemary boule.  honey flax bread.  granola bars.  chips to go with the jar of salsa left outside my door. (they are doing a promotion and everyone got a complimentary jar of salsa).  two amy’s mexican casseroles and two boxes of morningstar corn dogs because i haven’t seen them in a while.  so i got two just in case.  pasta sauce and a box of penne.  so see, foi, i have food in my kitchen.  and i am going to get back on my daily action wagon which should make me feel hungry again.

i think i need to start logging what i eat.  since sometimes i don’t eat that much and other times i eat too much sugar.  okay, i resolve to keep a food diary for a week.  for observation purposes.

interesting. . . August 29, 2007

when i use joe’s computer my community posts come out funny and i don’t know why.  it’s been a few days since i’ve posted because i am having some computer issues.  and here’s what i noticed.  i had every intention of doing my communities in my notebook since i couldn’t get online.  but i didn’t.  and not only did i not check in with myself sun-tues but i also didn’t do my daily action or my meditations and my week has definitely suffered some for it.  i can notice the difference in how i feel and in my daily outlook.  it’s interesting.  so for the rest of this week i strive to resume the daily actions and meditations.  and take it from there.

remaining firm and positive August 21, 2007

so today there are a lot of things i hope to accomplish.  i really hope i have time before work to go and apply at X store, get a stupid belt for my uniform, pay my electric bill and phone bill.  also can’t forget to eat something substantial before work.  also have to study a bit more for today’s test.  after work i hope to go to the grocery store because my fridge is nearly empty.  work more in prosperity book and work on my play today.  i have decided that if i don’t hear back from sandra (CA lady) by tomorrow then i will email her tomorrow night night and if she doesn’t respond thursday then i’ll give her a call.  or i might change my mind and email her tonight if i don’t hear from her today.  we’ll see.  i did my daily action today and the liquid light and “no mind” meditations.  starting my day off good again.  and even though i still had some lingering sadness yesterday and i couldn’t figure out why i wasn’t feeling better from all the good stuff i did for myself yesterday, it occurred to me that if i hadn’t taken care of myself yesterday in the ways that i did i most likely would have felt much worse and my thoughts would have been really negative as opposed to the acceptance, wondering and peace contained in them yesterday.  well off to seize the day.

new books to aid in personal growth August 20, 2007

i got a new book at half-price yesterday, A Witch’s Notebook by Silver Ravenwolf and it is great. i’m halfway through the prosperity book as well. the first chapter of silver’s book is about cleansing and there are some great exercises in there. she recommends doing the auric cleansing meditation for at least a week but preferably a month. so each day after i do my daily sun salutations and sit down for meditation i am going to practice the liquid light meditation and then move into “no mind.” i am going to do it this week and see how it goes. then maybe i will continue it. i stopped at an important chapter in the prosperity book because i was too tired to do some heavy reflecting but i am going to work on that today as well. i can’t wait to talk to amethyst again because i think she will love these books i am reading. in the cleansing chapter not only are there three cleansing meditations but there is also a rite for making a cleansing candle and then a full blown ritual for cleansing the auric body. i really want to do the ritual. i think i could really use it and i think amethyst would be interested in doing it as well so i can’t wait to talk to her about it. so another thing i’m going to do is plan out when to do it and make a list of what we need. i wonder if foi might be interested in doing it with us as well. . . . ? i’m going to ask her. i love how silver delves into the quantum physics of everything. i absolutely love quantum physics. it’s one of those subjects i want to learn more about. it is so thoroughly and completely fascinating.

i also got my Creative Visualization book back. yay! now i can start working through that one again. it has so many great exercises and i think i could really benefit from doing some clearing work.

Hello world! August 17, 2007

it feels kind of strange making a second blog, even though i have a specific purpose. but well, now that i am writing, i feel a bit. . . self-conscious. i was prompted by observing this week that i cooked the minimum number of times i usually set out to. i went to the gym. i’ve resumed my daily actions. and it occurred to me that foi’s idea of keeping a separate blog journaling her goals and results is actually quite a good idea. so, i have stolen that idea and am doing the same thing. it could be a boring read. or not. who’s to say? if you are reading, thank you. if you have words of wisdom you want to share, they will be appreciated.basically, my friend foi has inspired me. this year has been so trying. and amidst all the trying i have tried. and tried and tried and tried. to be a better person. to not let life get me down. to stay on track. to do this and that. to stop doing this or that. and the trying of the times continues and refuses to let up.

taking this step feels like taking action. some solid real action against whatever it is i’m up against. and maybe if i have a place where i can sort out my feelings along with my goals, actions and results maybe i will see something i couldn’t see before. because you see, i am really tired of living in trying times. i am ready for my good fortune, whatever that may be.